CHICKASAW
COUNTY CAPTIVE
Deleted
Scene
This
is the longer version of a truncated scene that appears in the book.
I loved the interplay between Norah and Kristen, two strong but very
different women, and I kind of hated to part with this scene.
"You
wanted to tell me something?" Kristen asked, the knots in her stomach
multiplying the longer Norah Cabot remained silent.
Norah
licked her raspberry-tinted lips. "I wanted to apologize."
The
woman couldn't have surprised Kristen more if she'd admitted to being a
space traveler from Alpha Centauri. "Apologize for what,
exactly?"
"For
treating you like a rube. You're obviously better at what you do than I
gave you credit for, and I don't doubt your commitment to finding out
who's trying to hurt Maddy." Norah looked slightly pained at the
admission, but Kristen decided not to take it personally. Norah Cabot was
probably the sort of person who found mea culpas difficult in
general.
"Apology
accepted." Guilt tugged at Kristen's gut, forcing her to continue.
"And I'm sorry I've seemed a little hostile at times. I made
assumptions about you before I ever laid eyes on you, and that wasn't fair
of me."
"What
assumptions?" Norah asked. "That I was heartless and cruel for
abandoning my flesh and blood? That I'm selfish and thoughtless for not
even checking to see how she's been doing all these years?" Norah
sank on to the arm of the sofa, her expression bleak. "Guilty as
charged."
"You're
not cut out to be a mother," Kristen said. "Sam has told me that
you made it clear to him from the beginning that you didn't want children.
You didn't lie or pretend to be anything you're not."
"But
don't you think I should have wanted to be a mother as soon as I saw my
kid?"
Kristen
thought of her own mother and tamped down a shudder. "Wanting to be a
mother isn't the same thing as being a good one. I think you knew that the
life you wanted wouldn't accommodate motherhood, and that you'd never be
good at it. There was no point in dragging your daughter into a life that
would ultimately be miserable for both of you."
Norah
looked up at her, eyes narrowed. "I guess you of all people would
know about bad mothers."
Kristen
flinched. "That's none of your business."
Norah's
expression was more sympathetic than pitying. "I'm not the sort of
woman who abides having my life pried into without returning the favor. As
soon as Sam hinted that you were more complicated than you look, my
curiosity wouldn't rest until I did some checking."
Kristen
looked down at the scar on her hand, resisting the urge to beat a fast
retreat. After all this time, she should be used to people knowing all the
ugly details of her tragic history. Most of it had played out in print and
on the nightly news, garnering national headlines for over a week. Carl
and Helen had tried to protect her from most of the press's feeding
frenzy, but she'd been fifteen, old enough to see through their attempts
to shelter her.
"My
mother should never have been a parent," Kristen admitted aloud,
knowing that it was pointless to pretend she didn't know what Norah was
talking about. "So I do have some respect for your decision not to
inflict yourself on Maddy."
"Thanks--I
think," Norah answered wryly.
"I meant it sincerely. You could do more harm to her than good by
hanging around and mothering her when you're not cut out for it. Sam's a
great father. He's done a wonderful job with Maddy by himself. I think you
know that you'd end up disappointing them both if you tried to start
playing Mommy now."
The
sparkle of tears in Norah's eyes caught Kristen by surprise. "I know
I would. I hate that it's how things are, but I know I don't have it in me
to change who I am at this point in my life."
"Then
don't let your fiance's aspirations push you into doing something that
will hurt both Maddy and you."
Copyright
© 2009 by Paula Graves
